The Bird That Couldn't Fly

We are half way through this miraculous year yet another half to get through. How many of us would survive this and come out strong is a thought that lingers in my mind round the clock. Call it mid-week madness or long held frustration, I really had to vent my feelings out before they erupt in a recalcitrant manner. What better way to share them, than through this channel!

In my previous blog, I mentioned that I am going to be a fine feather this decade and that my glorifying personality helps me move on from disappointing things in a jiffy. To all this that I have written, I just want to ask myself - WHOM WAS I KIDDING? I had a nervous breakdown and couldn't come to terms on certain aspects of life until I was forced to accept the changes and of course, move on. Well, I am proud that I sought help. But, but, but, where does that leave me now? I have no clue!

Those of you who know me for a longer duration would be well aware of the fact that I don't stay at a place which isn't healthy, positive or happy. I never was someone who stands somewhere that disrupted my happiness. Yet, here I am, stuck at an organisation from the past couple of months because I thought this is the process of growing up. At least that is what I was told. You stay, adjust, adapt and never quit. These methods and thoughts that people induce in our heads find me lost, most of the times. 

I fail to understand how are we growing up when we are not courageous enough to quit something we don't like, move away from people that are toxic, walk out from situations that are hostile and the inability to gift ourselves the tranquility that we deserve. Well, this just makes me wonder, are all those stipulated rules that we have been taught to abide by, all the rituals that were enforced upon, all the believes that were thrust on, of any good? Do we obey the practices taught just to please the society and assure ourselves that we belong, like the rest of them do? Or do we really understand most of these and observe them out of respect?

I have been humored on multiple occasions by many a people for switching jobs and career way too often, however, that sarcasm never bothered me; for, I was always a happy soul and my focus has always been a merry mind. Switch and swap gave me a long run of delightful life, until I fell for these traps of "growing up". I feel I was grown up before, where I knew my priority was me and my content. Now, it feels like life is taking me backwards and I am struggling to find my foot and pace with it in the right direction; the direction that brings in nothing but cheerfulness. 

One might feel it's mindless to pursue nothing but happiness and may also suggest that it is not possible to lead a gleeful life forever. As someone who had once achieved this, I know for a fact that it is nothing that cannot be executed. The determination, direction and strength, would take us a long way, farther away and beyond. Like Swamy Vivekanada said and I quote, our thoughts travel faster than that of words and we are what our thoughts have made us. Well, my thoughts are pertaining to happiness and happiness alone, at all times. I beseech the contentment for The Not So Ordinary Boy, Simba and I, now and forever; health and prosperity would instinctively follow.

Well, with all this mighty gyaan one must wonder why I am still holding myself back at a place I am not keen about. The answer I am unaware of either. The real challenge to self is to understand for how many more months or years(hopefully not) would I be able to prioritize these mediocre things over what is more important for me! 

Next time we catch up, I hope and wish I started to "grow-up" like I once did years ago! Until then, adios amigos! Take care and don't let Corona eat you up physically or mentally. We will all meet at the other side soon. :)